Pregnant With Promise

Sunday morning (the 20th) I felt spiritually pregnant with actual physical indications of labor. It's a little difficult to put into words what I was experiencing, but I feel that it is important that I do.

I could physically feel a spiritual reality, I was physically experiencing a spiritual reality. LCF (My church) has been spiritually pregnant with promise... and we are now 'full term'. THere have been many times where it felt like labor was in process - but that was the body preparing. The water has broken, the promise is in position and we must begin to push.

In our lamaze classes, when we were pregnant with our first child, the course had described the stages of labor, physically and emotionally. In the beginning there are a few good pains, but it is manageable pain and the woman giving birth is still bale to communicate.... she can focus outside of her self... but as the labor progresses the woman eventually ends up where the pain is so tremendous that it takes all of her energy and everything she has left just to focus on breathing and birthing the child. The only thing you may hear from here is a deep, laborious groan.

Sunday morning all I could do was that groan. It reminded me very much of being in that final stage of labor.. being in that zone where all that mattered is finishing this process... giving birth. All I could hear was 'push' and all I wanted to do was push.

There is also a stage in physical labor where the woman feels so tired and worn out.. like she can not possibly endure anymore of this. I can even remember uttering "I can't do this" ... I wanted to give up... but I knew that I could not. To give up would kill me and the baby. The nurses and my husband encouraged me to keep going and to keep enduring .. to birth this baby. Our bodies tell our brain that "hey this hurts, quit it, do what it takes to remove the discomfort. " the flesh is resistent because of the pain.

So with this understanding, this is what God is saying, not only to us, but to anyone who is pregnant with promise.
John 16:21-22 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. NIV

I am so excited that I really don't know how to express myself. I feel like laughing, I feel like I could cry, I am excited that I could run, but nervous at what it all entails.

We are experiencing turmoil because OUR TIME HAS COME. We are about ti give birth to our promise and experience God in ways we can not possibly imagine. Discouragement is present because our flesh is resistant to discomfort. We must encourage one another to press in and to continue to press on. If we die emotionally and spiritually because of giving into that discouragement... that promise dies with us. The anguish is temporary, where the eventual joy is eternal and can NOT be taken from you.

I was not the only one who experienced this yesterday. I really believe that this is part of why we are to rejoice when we experience the trials and tribulations... because the hardest part of labor is right before the baby is born. So when you are in great turmoil, praise His name and hold on to Him for strength to endure until your promise is birthed. When you behold your promise, the anguish is forgotten and the journey will be worth it!

Kizzie

And this is Jesus...

The other day my daughter had a bunch of animals on the couch and she says to me "Mommy, listen to me for a minute k?" So I look her way and I ask her what she has to tell me. She starts telling me the names of her animals.

"This is Pinky" (A Pink Stuffed teddy bear)

"This, is Brownie" (Her brown Teddy)

"This is ducky" ( A Duck )

"This is Boots" ( Boots the monkey from Dora)

"This is Dora" ( A Stuffed Dora )

So as you can see everything made sense right... there was something physical matching the names right? She then Picks up a little lamb that has its hands folded in prayer. She Picks him up and says

"And this *pause* is Jesus mommy"

I stopped and looked at her amazed. I asked her "baby... why did you name the lamb Jesus?" "What you mean mommy?" "How did you come up with the name of Jesus for the lamb, why did you not name the duck Jesus?" "Silly mommy, Jesus is the Lamb, the Lamb prays"

Now shes probably making the connection because when we pray we say "in Jesus name amen" ... but you never know. It was one of those moments that I will never forget. The moment my 3 year old daughter says "Jesus is the Lamb"

Luke 18:16-17 But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Also in Matt 19:14 and Mark 10:14)

Receive the Kingdom of God like a little child... accepting the simple truth for what it is. "Silly mommy, Jesus is the Lamb" Accepting what is written as truth.

I have been struggling with something, and it is a battle I've engaged in again and again. So afraid of failure... and I had one of those night where it felt like it just consumed me when God took me to these verses:

James 1:5-7 If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; he will not resent it. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to tell you, for a doubtful mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind; and every decision you then make will be uncertain, as you turn first this way and then that. If you don't ask with faith, don't expect the Lord to give you any solid answer. TLB

God has used the simple words of my 3 year old and these verses to convicted, and to encourage me. When you are going through something, the word tells us to not worry, but with prayer and supplication make your requests known to God. And then it says in James, that when you ask God for wisdom in a situation to expect Him to give you an answer... don't GUESS what you THINK would be His answer. That would be putting words into God's mouth! And then God reminded me that a child would ask and wait for an answer... and not presume to know the answer. "Silly mommy, Jesus is the Lamb, the Lamb prays"

So my prayers have changed. When I pray, I wait. I don't pray and then figure out what to do in the meantime.... that's when I've missed the answer completely.

Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to this. Father, forgive me for being too busy to listen, and to concerned to really seek you out as you have encouraged me to do time and time again. Thank you fro your grace and your mercy, and your patience with me. Let this word touch hearts of those who read it Father, teach all to first listen and then speak. You are worthy of all Glory Honor and Praise. ~Amen~

Go ahead... laugh... eventually I did

OK. I am 'with it' .. really. 12:00 does not blink continually on any of my stuff... I can program the tv box, I can program html... and know what does what... I can work all the programs on the computer, and pick up very quickly on the ones I have not yet tried. I know where the oil goes in my car.. and yes I can change a tire! I have had two babies... and have figured out all the stinking gizmos that come with a kid ( the baby gates, the machines, the locks the whatever)

I have mastered the art of many things do you understand! I am Good!

so why then.. WHY can I not make the stupid piece of junk shade roll up. You know those rolling shades.. you tug a little and flap flap flap it goes up. NOT FOR ME! The stupid thing. I calmly fight with it... tug .. it rolls down further.. ok tug again.. it rolls down a little bit further. I walk away trying to not get mad.

I tug again and it comes off the hook. Ok NOW I'm irritated. I put it back up and tug again.. it goes up slightly.. ok I got it .. tug.. down.. tug .. down AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TUG THEN it falls off again and hits me in the head.

You can not say any words from the "doesn't sound nice coming from a 3 year old" list in the presence of a 3 year old and a 15 month old.

then the 3 year old starts "mommy, whatcha doin?" "pulling up the shade Kay" "mommy.. it not goin' up yet" " I know Kay, thank you "

I put the stupid thing back on the hook. I tug again.. it goes up a little bit. tug.. ooo up a little more.. I think to myself 'FINALLY!'. Tug... flop.. bonk... GROWL

my 3 yr old "mommy why you pull it down" then she laughs at me. Great now Im being scoffed by a 3 year old.

I put it up again... this time I'll get it.

I put it up... I tug. IT GOES UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN it falls on my head.

my three year old giggling " mommy you so silly!"

I put it back up and I say "forget it, I'll just turn on the light"

My 3 year old .. walks over... little tug.. it goes up to the perfect spot "Oh mommy look I helped you!"

I console myself with being able to program a DVD player.