Rough night and day for us!

The side effects I mentioned in the previous post for Kaylin ( my 20 month old daughter ) ... got worse. We had given her this cough and cold medicine... the last dose I had given her was at 430pm yesterday ( the 28th ) . Well we had gone to Walmart and she was completely zoning. We didn't think a whole lot about it... until we got home. Then I noticed that her pupils were dilated pretty badly... and they wouldn't respond to light at all. That was enough to get me to call the doctor. So... at about 8pm or so we called the doctor... and like I mentioned in the previous post... he had said that it was a rare side effect, but it would go away.

Ok. Kaylin started to get very playful, but still had a strange look in her face. .. she was not acting like herself at all. 9 pm came and there was no way she was going to bed... she was so hyper. I figured that ok, maybe this drug made her hyper 430 was her last does it can take up to 6 hours before she would need another so I just won't give her any more medicine and let this wear off. 1030 came ( the 6 hour mark ) and she was still very hyper... but again I thought ok we are at the 6 hour mark she should be wearing this off... 11 pm ... midnight... finally at 1230 in the morning we called the doctor again. This time her heart is racing, her pupils are still huge and she is literally bouncing off the walls. Again the Dr said to just not give her anymore and let the drug wear off.

130 am.... 200 am I am so exhausted that I finally turn her crib around ( it had been converted into a toddler bed ) .... I turn the crib around so she can't get out of bed... and I get couch cushions to rest on so I can be near her in her room. She holds the side of the crib and just bounces for about 20 minutes straight... non stop. Finally she lays down but is bouncing her legs in nervous hyperness.... and crashes about 230 in the morning.

She wakes again at about 615 in the morning and is ready to run again! I'm thinking holy moly. I decide I'm taking her in to the doctors I don't care to hear " let it wear off" anymore. I can't call until 8... so I get her out of bed and she had clammy hands, and was trembling. This was a new addition... and of course I was already worried.

8 am I call and they tell me to bring her in at 11. At about 10am she finally calmed down, stopped trembling and was getting color back into her face. Her pupils were starting to react to the light again. 11 am I take her in. They monitor her heart, check out her pupils and narrow down the drug reaction possibilities. She is allergic to pseudo ephedrine. This is a common drug in cough and cold medicines. Most of the infant cold medicines have very very little in it, so that's why she has never reacted to it prior to this incident. This time she had a prescription medication that had a prescription amount of pseudo ephedrine in it. She was high... stoned for about 16 - 18 hours. The trembling and clammy hands was a withdrawal symptom. My poor baby.

That was one of the worst things to go through.

She is just fine now. No longer permitted to have regular cold medicines. And can only take antihistamine for her stuffiness.

I had taken a picture last night to see if her pupils would react to the flash... they didn't ... but now looking at the picture you can totally tell that she was not herself. very scary. God blessed us by protecting her little heart and mind while her body processed the drug.

Thank God for his mercy and grace!



She is back to her beautiful little self .... just very tired and will be a little extra irritable for about a week due to the cold and her experience. I just will be praying and believing that the irritability experience will not last long at all.

Thank you all those who prayed while we went through this!

Side effects!

GEE WHIZ....

I took my daughter to the Doctor today... she just had been miserable with a cold so I thought I'd take her in to be sure she didn't have anything more serious. Turns out it's just a nasty cold. So he prescribed her some medicine.

Well the Pharmacy failed to tell me that one of the possible side effects is huge dialated pupils. So as you can imagine... looking at her tonight and seeing nothing but black scared me a little! Poor thing probably has a headache from all the light getting in there!

It would have been nice for them to tell me. But oh well. As long as there is no long term effects! I think I worry more because I am pregnant... just having a hard time processing information. I didn't give her any more for tonight. She didn't seem to be stuffed up still anyway. I've been drugging my daughter how wonderful is that! HAHAHA

Anyway that's about it for today... nothing too exciting. Which I guess can be a good thing in most instances HEHEHEHE

26 weeks... and snot suckers...

I am only 26 weeks along in this picture ( which was taken 2 weeks ago ) I know it looks like I'm leaning back, but I'm not really!

I am much bigger with this baby then I was with Kaylin.

I'm feeling big today... all my muscles hurt. I am ready to be done with this pregnancy, but at the same time I can't believe that February is almost here! Yikes!

I stayed home from church today. My daughter was not feeling well at all. She has everything going but a fever. I got out my snot sucker to drain her sinuses... and when I told my mom about it she laughs everytime for me calling it a snot sucker. LOL Well! That's what it does doesn't it? Me and my technical talk I know.

It's been a hard night

I am writing this blog with a sad heart. One of our church members has slipped back into sin in a very bad way. Of course I can't give details... but my heart hurts for her and for her loved ones. It's hard to watch people fail. It's hard to stand back and let people live their own lives, even if you know a better way. We each have our own will.

This is the hard part of ministry. To watch someone trip... especially when you could have pointed out the cord that tripped them. I don't suppose this ever gets any easier. Why do people allow these things when there is such a better way?

I had a good cry tonight. And now I'll have a good talk with Jesus... if my heart hurts this much I can only imagine how his heart feels when we mess up.

I am very blessed to have Jesus to go to ... he can comfort me in these times.

I Can't Hear You, God.

I read this devotional today and it really spoke to me. Mainly because I am the type of person that likes to unload my grievances. I still, to some point, think that sometimes I need to bounce my feelings off of a good ear so that I can learn and grow... and even get an outside perspective to help me see the error in my ways. But on the other hand I like the steps that this lady has given. If the irritation is fresh, the best idea probably is to keep it to myself and talk to God FIRST about it. Maybe that's the key... talking to God about it first. Wow... this is going to take some praying and reapplying the concept to my life! I Can't Hear You, God.
By: Gail Rodgers

Have you ever had that feeling that your prayers were not going past the ceiling? God sometimes can feel so close, but then it changes and our hearts can feel distant and God feels silent. Why is this?

I discovered one reason this happens in my life. It was after a family discussion when I had spilled out some things that were bugging me. I really felt better! It was good to get that off my chest! Until I went to pray… and God just seemed out of reach.

God is so good! He knows I desire to do things His way and He knows I so often don't get it right. So He uses His Holy Spirit to show me. I "happened" to read in my Bible these words, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God…" (Ephesians 4:29, 30).

Suddenly I understood! When I dumped on someone, getting it off my chest, the words I spoke were usually not very helpful, not words that would build them up according to their needs. And in the process I grieved the Holy Spirit. That explained why God felt out of reach. I had grieved His Holy Spirit by my words.

But wait a minute... sometimes I had legitimate grievances that needed to be talked out! Did this mean I could never speak my mind? Over the years God has kneaded this verse into my life like flour is kneaded into bread and this is what I have learned…

When I have a grievance with one of my family members (or anyone else for that matter), when something just plain bugs me, I am learning, by trial and error, how to apply this verse to real life, where the rubber meets the road.
* I have found that first I make a choice to be silent in the moment of irritation. It is vital to ask for the Holy Spirit's help on this.
* Second, I make a choice to talk about that irritation on my knees. In other words I pour out the feelings and frustrations to God.
* Third, I listen for direction and the Holy Spirit often first shows me something I can work on or change in me. I ask for His forgiveness and His help.
* And lastly, if there is still an issue left on my heart that needs to be tackled with the other person, the Holy Spirit has given me fresh perspective, He has shown me my part, and He has quieted my soul so I can respond at a better time and in a better way.

The irritations of our hearts need to be monitored. The responses that flow so naturally out of us are often the very words that grieve the Holy Spirit and we don't even know it! We have no clue as to why our prayers don't pass the ceiling. When we respond according to what God tells us in His Word, the change is remarkable. We are calmer, life around us is calmer and best of all, the flow of the communication of our hearts with God's is not blocked and blessing is the result. What a caring God who helps us in this way!

"The Hair Factor Lady"

OK....

So here I was pretty bummed that I had failed my first glucose test. I HATE going for the three hour test, and I hate being poked a million times for blood.. those veins get sore you know! So here I am sitting in the lab, substituting as a pin cushion and not wanting to be there. I was calm though and relaxed, I figured I may as well make the best of it. So before I went I had printed out some sudoku puzzles from the website to keep myself busy while I waited.

Now , you have to understand, especially with my previous post, that I am not the type of person to minister to pure strangers outside of church... that whole comfort zone sort of thing. But here I am in the lab waiting to be poked yet AGAIN when this young couple walks in with her mother right behind them. I sensed in my spirit immediately that there was something really wrong. So I started to pray quietly in my spirit about it. They sat fairly close to me and I could hear the mother trying to encourage her daughter to not think negative thoughts, and it wasn't her fault etc. Then the young lady was called into the area where they draw the blood, and her husband had gone with her. I then turn to the mother and just started to talk. I said "I don't know why I feel like I am supposed to tell you this, but I am to tell you that God is in control..." And then I smiled. What else could I say? She then told me "thank-you, I needed to hear that" Her daughter is pregnant with the second child, she is far enough along that a heart beat should be so easy to find. There is no heart beat. She then told me that she is trying so hard to ease her daughter's heart from feeling like it's her fault, but it's hard to tell an expectant mother that. I then told her that I could understand that. I also told her that God has everything under control, even if the end result is not what we desire. I also told her that this little life was not created in vain. If he is not to enter this world, then he serves his purpose in Heaven... but either case this baby is in God's hands. She said again thank you so much, and it was time for them to leave. I told her as they were leaving that I would keep them in prayer. I only know the young lady as "the Hair Factor" Lady because she was wearing a work shirt... and that was the name of the company.

So in a sense... it was another amazement to myself to realize that I am moving in the gifts again without fear or nervousness. God truly has taken that fear away! But in another sense my heart is burdened for this family. So if you happen to give it a thought during your prayer time, could you send a loving prayer up to our Father in regards to "The Hair Factor Lady"" and her family.

Ever been "Spanked' by God?

Ever been "Spanked" by God?

I was this morning during service... But it was a long awaited break through for me! Let me tell you what I mean.

I have always known that there was a calling on my life. I knew that God made me feisty for a reason. There even have been prophecies spoken over me that I am the type to get things riled up. To get people thinking and moving. That sort of thing.

The funny thing is that even though God created me to be feisty, I have never been feisty... at least not out in public or out in the open. I would always get feisty behind closed doors, or if you were a family member I could easily get feisty with you. Being aggressive was easy as long as it was within my safety/comfort zone.

I have been moving in the gifts of the spirit since I have been about 13 or 14. I have seen them used appropriately, and I have seen them abused, and learned to use discernment to know the difference. God has even used me to give words of knowledge or words or prophecy and even interpretation of tongues. None of these things were new to me. But as I grew into adult hood, and as I entered into ministry I have gotten lots of bumps and bruises along the way. I was becoming more and more afraid to be in ministry and to minister because I was packing up all the baggage of all the hurts and dragging them along with me. I have just recently started to read The Bait of Satan, and have been learning to let past hurts go, how to forgive people, how to forgive myself and how to see my sin that aided the hurt that I was carrying.

But I had gotten into another comfort zone. It is SO much easier to be the quiet, but supportive Pastor's wife. It's easy to counsel when approached, and be an encourager when the opportunity presented itself. So much easier then taking a step out on the limb, that often scary step of faith. .. the kind of Faith step that says " ok God I am being obedient and you take care of the results" It's easier to go with the flow and be LIKED.

This morning was fantastic. God moved right from the start with worship. I knew I felt a push in the Spirit. God was pushing for a new step from the church this morning. To press in and have their lives changed. I also could sense that prophecy was heavy in the air and God was going to do some talking. First God used our piano player to prophesy through his playing. Oh it was so powerful and beautiful!!!! But I knew there was more. And the anointing was getting stronger and stronger on me. Finally I knew that God was trying to speak to them through me. I tried to pass it off and set the feeling aside. I was playing safe yet again. Using fear as my excuse to not be obedient. So God gave me some slack and gave someone the word in tongues. When she was finished my DH said under the unction that interpretation must come and we could not move on without it. I started to shake under the anointing. I cried so hard that the tears were actually streaming from me instead of dropping. I begged in my spirit to let the word go somewhere else. I begged God to give me more time to get over my fears and my hurts. I basically... had a spiritual temper tantrum. " God I don't wanna! " The crazy thing was the word was not harsh, it was encouraging! So why was I so afraid? Because I had gotten used to my safety zone. Speaking in public has always unnerved me. .. and playing the quiet role was OH SO COMFY!

At any rate this pleading only went on for maybe two minutes. Finally God gave the interpretation to an obedient church member who gave it. And the words were exactly the same in my spirit. I was SO RELIEVED.......... for about 30 seconds.

The anointing on me didn't lift. It got stronger. I started to shake from it. And I cried harder. I knew God was not finished with me. DH called the ladies to come and pray over me. And they did. There were two wonderful ladies who were obedient to speak what God had to say to me. I had to hear it physically so I would know it wasn't just my flesh thinking it up. God said to me through one " When you have a word, you give it, He will give you the words all you need to do is speak them. "

OUCH

My reply to God in my heart was " But you know I have been hurt. You know the fear that is in my heart. I can not get passed these things, it's not in me to get passed these things"

Then God says through the second Lady " I know the plans that I have for you. They are not to hurt you, but they are to prosper and lift you. "

OY

At this point I knew God was not going to let me off easy on this one. He was dealing with an issue I have been dealing with for years. He then speaks directly to my spirit saying " Have I called you to be quiet?" *no* " Have I called to to be afraid?" *no* " Have I not called you to be a warrior? since when do you back down from a challenge? Have I not called you to use these gifts of the spirit? Why do you put them on the shelf. I have called you to be obedient. You must be obedient... I am taking away your excuses. "

I know it sounds harsh, but it was so encouraging. I have felt so dry for so long. I had almost given up on myself and on ministry in general. I was living life for my family. .. and ministry was my husband's JOB. It was encouraging because I was at the threshold of being used again, getting out of the dry land and into a land filled with prosperity, spiritually speaking. I knew after this what I needed to do... and I was obedient this time.

After the ministering was finished I got up in front of the whole church, and I apologized to them. I explained to them that I was to give the interpretation, but I was disobedient. I allowed my fears and my hurts to hold me back. I told them that God gave the interpretation to the church through another obedient church member so that they could continue being ministered to while God dealt with me. And then I shared a dream that I had with them. And I explained why God moves the way He had this morning.

I noticed afterwards.... that not once was I scared to talk to the crowd this morning after my experience. I wasn't nervous or wondering what words I should use. I just did it. And that was truly huge for me. God had taken away my excuses, and that fear of public speaking is gone. I may be nervous from time to time, but no more fear! WOW!

I had a good morning. I love break through's. And I am so wonderfully blessed!

My Daughter the comedian

Nothing "deep' to mention tonight.

I am doing well with the pregnancy now. Feeling very 'big' and I know I am showing much more with this one then I did with Kaylin. When I get my act together I could take a picture to prove it!

My daughter. She cracks me up. Tonight we were in church and we were sitting with another family that has a ten year old girl. On the other side of the girl and her mother the worship leader's children sat. ( two boys and a girl) and their grandmother. The boys are ummm I don't know I'd say 10 and 8 maybe? Around that age. Anyway there is no nursery during the evening service, well not typically as it is usually just my daughter anyhow. So I brought Kaylin a whole bunch of little quiet things to keep her busy. I am almost always successful believe it or not at keeping her quietly occupied during the evening service ( am I good or what ROFL Kidding! )

She was getting restless so I pulled out the crayons and her coloring book. This got the interest of the other children in the row so they crawled over to watch Kaylin and the ten year old girl color in this book. Then Kaylin's humor decided to show. Even the 8 year old asks me " where does she come up with these things!?!?!?" They were all whispering, and me and the other mother are trying to keep the hubbub to a minimum. We shooshed and poked and shooshed some more. Finally the boys were giggling about something when my daughter ( 19 months ) turns around and says something in a hushed tone in her baby talk "rubalubagagubmmmthupthppp" and then promptly puts her finger to her lips and says "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

HAHAH needless to say me and the other mother lost it and started to laugh. The 10 year old girl was struggling to laugh quietly and the boys were shocked to silence. This is my daughter. She is ALWAYS doing things like this. It is very hard to be in a bad mood with her at times ( unless of course she's having a 'willful' day )

Good night y'all